A Honeycomb of Expressions

An Indelible encounter

2007-12-30T13:29:00.000-08:00

Waiting at the concert gates,
music stuck in his ears
and a video player in his hand,
attracted by a ramones T
he pretentiously walked upto us
and
what started as small talk,
took us into the depths of his life.

an engaging man of sorts,
he loved his music and adored Cliff,
watching three shows of his for a week,
one day he met "the idol".
recalling two encounters of his with Cliff,
subtly taught us a couple of rules of life,
one shouted "kill piracy"
the other screamed "humility".

a man well spent,
another case of "meagre beginnings"
he battled life hard in the face.

merely with a weapon of 'belief',
'punctuality' his armour,
and the 'sharp' mind of a general
he reached the top of his game.

Craig then wafted away into thin air,
but his advice clouds me in thick smoke,
"Believe in yourself,and the world will be yours",he said
but
"when too heavy,
the weight of the world will only be shared by your parents" he smiled

Tide of thoughts

2007-11-18T11:20:00.000-08:00

consciousness garners in a tide of thoughts
washing away all the castles of sand
we stand still and watch as it lashes the mind
a sea of the past and future
flooding the present behind

we admire the beautiful waves
dont wanna leave sight
but as soon as the waters recede
reality shows off the oceans might

we build embankments to thwart these thoughts
but they are weaker than sand
a slight peek into reality
and then the waves sweep over the land

we admire the beautiful waves
dont wanna leave sight
but as soon as the waters recede
reality shows off the oceans might

Another Blow-up

2007-09-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

another explosion in a twisted mind,
again,blowing up a great feeling,
its almost become second nature,
to come closer to winning,
and yet stumble,
by your own stupid fuck ups.

jimmy described it to be the soul of a clown,
how right today he sounds,
everytime the sun comes out,
you are buried beneath the ground.

for the few people who care for you,
hurt becomes their shadow,
and all they ever wish is,
you were never that callow.

your actions hit like a stone,
words pierce the skin,
you wish you wern't a twisted freak,
but now,the damage is all you moan.

Rolling in life's cradle

2007-09-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

he rolled in degenerated senses,
like a child on a soft bed of roses,
seeking answers to his life,
his face showed no pain,no anger,no hate,
all these had long passed him by,
he rolled there resigned to his helpless fate,
made even more helpless by the people walking by,
seemingly unaffected by the daily sights.

long,heavy hair stuck out from his spotted and wrinkled face,
his crumbling body had no pillars to support,
the stilts of life had been chopped to half,
couldn't walk along anymore in life's race.

a ragged cloth covering his chest,
and folded pants showing off the deepest scars,
not a single rupee in his tin can,
and all god's child did was roll.
roll away into oblivion.

and years ago,
rolling still fresh in his mother's womb,
would he have imagined today?

Another me

2007-08-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

the loss of reason was pained
no sense of being
it ate away those days of life
its a sad representation of me

a decision gone awry
has left behind a seedless fruit
one that has no conviction
and a shattered sense of belief

the fifth of my life
has cracked the mirror between,
the today of me,is no more
the me of fifteen

and now,the void crushes in
it crushes in.

Nostalgia

2007-07-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

I had an assignment to write about any event that drove the most emotions in me.This is what I wrote........

The event which I remember to be the closest to my heart is the last day of school.

The day itself was one with mixed reactions.Sadness,for leaving an institution which had cradled me like its own child and joy,for being moulded to face the real world.

But today,every time I look back at that day,I feel an emptiness and loss.The institution that made me,nurtured me,is no longer a part of me.With heavy heart I walked out of the doorways which had been my second home.The love of every staff member,the embrace of every classroom,the smell of the mud of the playing field are vividly etched in my senses,and fills me with nostalgia.

The ten most brilliant years of my life,culminated into that day,which by far is the only event which drives out the most intense emotions in me.

Nervous Wreck......

2007-07-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

I never believed it.It always seemed like an exaggerated expression.
"Dude.....I got so nervous......I messed up my exam bad".Well,how could I know,I never had experienced it.Never in school,nor college......and engineering....these exams are more like "who cares".

I believed,it was just an excuse to hide behind mark sheets showing a poor grade."How can you get nervous in an exam?.....you've been giving it since the 1st grade",that's what I thought about,every time I heard someone "exaggerating".But life seems to have its own way.

The weakness of my mind,got to my scores on an exam today.Just as for every exam,I left home with a cool mind,never fearing or dreading it.The travel to the examination centre was long.Not carrying any music along the way,I allowed my thoughts to meander.Suddenly,I was filled with the weirdest of thoughts."What if I messed up the exam?"."What if I couldn't prove my preparation?".Things were getting out of hand.Even the slighest signs of confidence were waning.When I look back,the ride to the centre scares me to death.

I couldn't understand the reason for my pessimism.It wasn't that I lacked preparation.I was prepared to the best of my ability.Maybe the hype and importance of the exam got to me(My postgraduate studies depend on it).

This state of mind never got better,in fact,it deteriorated with every passing minute of the examination.I was sweating profusely.My fingers got jammed.I kept shaking my legs.I just wanted to get over with it,and RUN out of the centre.

Each and every question seemed tougher than it was.Every answer of mine seemed wrong.Nothing was going right for me.And,expectedly my scores reflected my anxiety.I didn't do as well as I thought my potential was.Wasn't a great day for me.

But besides this I realized the importance of being confident in your approach to an exam.Anxiety probably caused me to get those questions wrong,which under normal circumstances I would have scored correctly.A first experience,this.